Friday, November 18, 2011

Love Letters.

I love Zeke. I really, truly, whole heartedly, devotedly, protectively love that child. Best.blessing.ever. BUT, he's in that phase. The terrible two-hitting-destructive-opinionated-rebelling phase. I won't lie...there are some days I want to curl up in a ball or run far far away.

I often write Zeke mentally letters...or post mini letters on Facebook. They usually go like this:

Dear Zeke,

Breaking my glasses was bad timing since I'm going to see the Breaking Dawn premiere in a few hours. Now I have to drive with one arm securing them to my face.

I love you anyways,
Mommy

OR 

Dear Zeke,

It would be nice if you would finally sleep through the night. Your a year and a half for crying out loud. You smush me at night & I hardly ever get a decent night's sleep.

I love you anyways,

Mommy

OOOOOOR

Dear Zeke,

Your driving me crazy today. Quit being so cranky. Please stop throwing my food out of the grocery cart & screaming when I scold you for it.
I love you anyways,
Mommy

Then I realized that if Zeke could write me a letter, it would probably go something like this.

Woman Mommy,
I'm only a year and a half old. I'm curious because my brain is like a sponge and sometimes that means I'm gonna break stuff. I wake up at night because I want to snuggle with you. It's where I feel the safest. I'm not the only cranky one; your pretty cranky with me sometimes yourself. Plus, how else am I supposed to express how I feel? I throw your food out of the grocery cart because I'm bored & it amuses me. Again, I'm only a year and a half old.
I love you anyways,
Zeke


It's true....motherhood is the most amazing, wonderful, rewarding, & difficult thing you will do (if you choose) in your life. It requires constant learning, sacrifice, patience, &   ever growing love. I'm not a perfect mother & I never will be but I have the desire to always be the best mother I can be and that's what matters.

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

1 comment:

  1. I love this post Jess! I really know how you feel...I am dealing with a very emotional, sort of like a teenager already, seven year old these days. I always tell her I've never been a mother to a 7 year old before and you've never been 7 before so let's cut each other some slack.....love her to pieces, but I could live without a few of these dramatic moments! I would be sort of afraid of what her letter to me would be...hehehe

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