Thursday, July 25, 2013

Loss.

I know I said in my last post (a whole two months ago) that I'd be posting again...spring had gotten the best of me and I was a bit overworked & overtasked and overwhelmed so I took a little break from crafting and blogging and just did what I needed while trying to just relax and enjoy the nice weather. .... I had also recently found out that I was pregnant and I was experiencing that first trimester "How can I be this tired and unmotivated?!" phase which I'm sure was contributing to the over worked and over tired feeling.

I wish I could continue this post with some pretty belly bump picture and lots of exclamation marks. It would be a lot easier than having to say that our sweet blessing went to heaven before we ever were to meet. It wasn't meant to be in this lifetime on this Earth.

 Fortunately, I was not past my first trimester yet though I did end up in the ER and had an emergency D&C. Frankly, it's been hard. Really hard. It's been about a month since it happened and a lot of the emotional pain surrounding it has dimmed but it's still there and I finally decided to share it here.I mean...this is a life blog and that's a big life deal. Part of me goes with the whole "Don't air your dirty laundry" deal cause people don't want to hear bad stuff. Part of me says that if I can't be "real" to an extent then what's the purpose of sharing any life on this blog? So I choose to share (not everything mind you) but some personal things like dealing with anxiety issues and my body image/weight loss. And this.

Of course, we could still definitely use prayers if you wanted to throw some our way.

I really do anticipate that I will be back to this little space soon. I've had a few projects pop into my head & I'm looking forward to getting back into some semblance of a routine again and for my little lefty brain to get some exercise in.

Might I leave you with a pretty waterfall picture from a hike we took recently (when I saw we - Zeke went, too! First hiking trip and he was awesome!):



6 comments:

  1. I can't imagine what this loss feels like :( So sorry for what you are going through.

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  2. I'm glad you're back and I'm still praying for you! Remember my nightstand we were going to work on together? Well, get some ideas, friend, because Lindsey colored it with blue sharpie the other day and we're going to need to speed that little project up!

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  3. Don't worry about is how you'll be perceived for sharing this. Writing is a form of healing and that's what your doing now. Throwing prayers and positive thoughts your way.

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  4. my heart breaks reading this... You seem like you are working so hard on the right attitude about your sweet baby now being in heaven. As you let your tears flow remember you are being prayed for. I can't understand this kind of pain, but I do know there is a reason God puts each person in our lives... and I feel like mine is just to pray for you...! Please keep us updated and share your thoughts freely..
    Be blessed and feel loved!

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  5. i'm so sorry for your loss dear. i'm sure i would be pretty emotional about the whole thing if i were in your shoes:(

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  6. I'm so sorry for you loss. I hope you have coped up well.
    I've suffered a couple myself. I wrote about my first miscarriage on my blog (http://www.iusedtobemyself.blogspot.in/2012/09/losing.html).
    Hugs.

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